it’s bigger than me

she wanted to be thin,
so she melted clear away
but it doesn’t seem so clear
today
it doesn’t seem so clear
today…

Taken from :
“Carries On”
It’s not easy to be, me…”
©Cat Ginn ‘08
(Can be found in BPChicks Blog-May 200
Late June:
“I wonder if she would change this? -Just for me, privately, if I asked.
It doesn’t quite fit me…well, nothing in my [...]

Orthorexia?????

“A national (U.S.) TV network news program is conducting background research for a possible story on “orthorexia.” Orthorexia is the colloquial term for an obsession with eating only healthy foods. It is motivated by a desire to feel healthy, natural, and “pure” — as opposed to anorexia, which is motivated by a desire to lose [...]

“It’s not easy to be, me…..”

*taking poetic license with the words to this song….. changing the sex of the singer….*
Superman…. (in part)
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird…i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could [...]

It was my birthday…. I could cry if I wanted to!

by the feline…..
The 14th of this month was my birthday… just last Friday… Know who forgot my birthday? My mother. ROFLMAO! She’s now officially forgotten most everyone in the family’s birthday. I believe the memory of every single person on this earth has been affected by the hormone’s in the chickens [...]

Self Reflecting Conclusion = I Really Do Suck

by UM
I’ve been soul searching, or maybe searching for my soul. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who I am now. There have been periods in my life that I did know who I was. Who I cared for. What mattered to me. How much control I had over just about everything in my [...]

Skeleton in the Closet

I’m not one of them. Not really. I don’t “get it.” Maybe I’m getting there. Doesn’t matter, I’m a bit too old for that.
Old? I’m 16 on the inside, 30-something on the outside and realistically on the front side of 40.

A grown woman. Should know better. The young d didn’t know [...]

She Makes Me Feel Like Crap….

by UM
I just don’t get it. Really, I don’t. Once again, I am writing about my daughter…..the one who is anorexic and buliemic.
I had not been able to get her on the phone since last Sunday. Left messages. Emailed her. Went by her house and she wasn’t home.
Today, I get this in an email from [...]

Feeling “Green & Grumpy”… how about you?

(by feline9)
This time of year just does it to me EVERY time… I don’t know why… maybe it’s because I’m a die-hard fan of Dr. Suess….? Maybe it’s because I’m no longer 12 years old…? Maybe it’s because the “food” festivities do not bring me comfort… (if you’ll remember, I’m a “recovering”-boo-hiss-take-my-scale-away-kicking-and-screaming-anorexic)… [...]

Big “AHA” Moment….Personal Self-Hate

   By UM
I’ve always thought that depression was my worst enemy. It is an evil companion. But, in doing some soul searching, I have found that  my most reliable
“friend “is self-hate. Awww. yeah……self destruction.
Self destruction is reliable. Self destruction is always ready to be pulled out of it’s hiding place. I have been practicing self-destruction [...]

Is Keeping The Faith Hard For Bipolars?

 By UM
Fix Me Jesus
Oh yes, fix me, Jesus, fix me.
Fix me so that I can walk on
a little while longer.
Fix me so that I can pray on
just a little bit harder.
Fix me so that I can sing on
just a little bit louder.
Fix me so that I can go on despite the pain,
the fear, the doubt, [...]