I Know…I’ll Use the “May I Help You Riff”

Posted on May 10, 2008 by d

I miss my oldest son right now…if he were here, (hadn’t moved away..abandoned me, and not at work to top things off….dammit), we’d probably quote this…at the same time. :(

Back with the starter husband, all I had to do was pick up a power tool and turn it on; he’d come running. That’s all I had to do to get help. Well….I’ve found the power sprayer! There are no instructions. There are a lot of parts. They are neatly wrapped and were found in a large Rubbermaid container….so I don’t even have a box with a picture to go on. That is what brought me online this fine afternoon.

If I do get that figured out, I am then going to attempt the power drill. (I kid you not, I’ve never used one.) Turn it on…starter husband would come runnin’…..he did not allow me to touch his stuff.

Me and power tools I have no bangin’ clue how to use. My boys are not here; and are unavailable. (I need my boy toy friend back, must stay strong…do not call him)… I have never felt so helpless….Chaos is about to ensue in my yard, I just know it.

I wish I had a hot neighbor guy…but no, I live in between Mr. Squarepants with a back problem and Tweak, the retired pharmacist. *maybe I should call the fire department…..*

Just checking in to whine. I may update you on how this goes if it has any entertainment value. My other idea for a future post is:

“My Hair Turned Orange & My General Practitioner advised me to become a Slut, all in the Same Day” Yeah…that happened to me yesterday.

I know this has nothing to do with mental health; well, perhaps we all can analyze my GP-he is a case. Have a good weekend.

Filed under: doctors, failure, freak magnet, isolation, life, love and laughter, my life sucks, personal | Tagged: , , , , , , ,

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5 Responses to “I Know…I’ll Use the “May I Help You Riff””

  1. Stephany, on May 11th, 2008 at 9:16 am Said:

    i wanna hear the orange haired slut story LOL

  2. trailerparkbarbie, on May 11th, 2008 at 4:53 pm Said:

    Me,too

  3. badkitty99, on May 12th, 2008 at 11:02 am Said:

    D’s new name…..AnnieSlut.

    *cryin*

    I want that story. And pics of the busted up fence.

  4. d, on May 12th, 2008 at 11:28 am Said:

    YEAH…you gave it away! (the rest of the story, that is) AFTER I got the damn fence stained….a windstorm tore the hell outta it. All that work for nuttin.

    Covered under insurance under the “Wrath of God for sins I should not mention” clause.

    Just was looked @ by the guys who are gonna fix it.. Cool guy I partied with back in the day construction and his helper….Just out of prison handyman. Says he can get to it this week.

    Hey…my hair is fixed & I didn’t have any casual sex over the weekend; or drunk dial ex boytoy (dammit) I’ll get to that story later on today.

    FYI- I have on Wayne’s jeans from the video today. I am such a throwback…or is it…they’re comin back in style…?…ahead of my time…? *I’ll shut up and weed-eat the lawn* I do know how to use a weed-eater. I was allowed to touch the crappy , lawn mowin-type stuff/typical, huh?

  5. d, on May 15th, 2008 at 9:37 am Said:

    I’m working on the orange hair / doc story. Just keep gettin interrupted.

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