Bipolar Chicks See All, Know All…….Not!

poontang	4
dr. 90210- jenny lee	1
how did the moon look yesterday	1
what does a bipolar scales look like	1
I had a pap smear and it hurt ever since	1
no more self-medicating bipolar rejectio

These are the lastest search terms. Since, I’m feeling really, really smart (ass) today, I will attempt to write a mini-post for each and everyone of these dear people.

1. poontang……Awww…..the most popular search by far. Poontang a.k.a. twat, snatch, vajayjay, biscuit, present, hoo-hoo, muffin, downthere, bush, fuz-patch, puss, and so many more. There seem to be an astonomical number of people searching out poontang. For all you curious searchers of poontang, here is my advice. (a) If your poontang itches, stinks, drips, flakes, squiks, squirts, or hurts….please pay a visit to your gynocologist. If you do not have a gyno doc, please search http://www.webmd.com If all else fails, eat a graham cracker. My mom swore by graham crackers.

2. dr 90210 jenny lee….If you want to look like Jenny Lee aka “Barbie”, you can (a) wrap yourself in Saran wrap and microwave for 45 minutes (b) sell everything you own and visit an unethical plastic surgeon/surgeons or (c) do a or b and camp out in front of “Inside Edition” until you are spotted by their resident freak-finder. While waiting, eat a couple of graham crackers.

3. www.chantix….. uh, just click the link While waiting for link to load, eat a graham cracker.

4. how did the moon look yesterday……Either (a) ask somebody in real life like your mother/father/neighbor/teacher/homeboy, etc (b) imagine what it looks like at new moon, half-moon, or full moon. Then pick one and pretend that you saw it yesterday. BUT, if you are talking about my “moon”, it looked a little dry. I really need to moisturize. And eat more graham crackers.

5.bloated stomach lamictal side effects…….Yikes! Contact no.1 and take turns looking at webmd. and/or call your health provider. Maybe, you at too many graham crackers.

6. what does a bipolar scales look like…….white with chrome trim and a display with numbers. The numbers go up with consumption of too many graham crackers.

7. zyprexa depression……Aha, a legit search. You have my sympathy. Seriously. Graham crackers are great comfort food.

8. i had a pap smear and it hurt ever since……Now, this would depend on the “since”. If it was yesterday, you are probably a little sore from that horrible metal torture tool that the gyno sticks up your poontang. (Poontang search alert!!!!!) If it was six months ago, I’d be a little worried. Hurry and catch up with no. 1 and no. 5. A long lasting hurt in the delicate area could spell (smell?) trouble. Make sure before you go, though, that there is not a graham cracker stuck anywhere. That could be very embarrassing.

9. Heather Mills 3rd dance……No, she has not lost her leg and injured anyone yet. Rumor has it that one of the judges was hit by a graham cracker in the eye, though. Bad scene. Crumbs everywhere.

10.no more self-medicating bipolar rejectio…….Now this one is really throwing me for a loop. I have no idea what a “rejectio” is but it sounds plenty painful. Gotta go search for “rejectio”. But, first, I think I’ll have a graham cracker.

NOTE: For people with searches related to meds or health issues, there are some really good websites. But, please, just make sure that you are not taking advice from someone who doesn’t have a clue what they are talking about. This BipolarChick blog is intended to try to share our personal experiences with psych meds and dealing with bipolar disorder and depression. We do like to laugh a lot. We tend to poke fun at many things. Do not take any of the above seriously. My only intent is to give you a good belly-laugh. A good giggle-a-day does help sometimes.