What A Tangled Web We Weave……

………when first we practice to concieve. What do I mean by that? Pull up a chair and let me ’splain.

I woke up exhausted. Drug my tired ass out of bed and went to church. I know some may be surpised by that. No, not that I used ass and church in the same sentence. But, the fact that I do have a strong belief in the existence of God. I do. Sue me! And I think that God has a super sense of humor and that he does like playing pranks on occasion. For ex., I went to church this morning fully intending to pay all my attention to the sermon. Cause, frankly folks, I felt I needed one. But, our pastor was on vacation. My pastor is an amazing man. I have great admiration for him. And, he keeps your attention with interesting, relevant sermons. BUT….today he was gone on vacation. Instead, there was a guest pastor. Actually, he teaches some big level class at a Bible College. From the minute he said good morning, I knew that I was in trouble. I simply could not get what he was saying. I’d be hearing sumptin’ like this, “And God want you to know…blahblahblah” and my mind would wander off. It went off in all sorts of directions. Like, “Why doesn’t that women look at the back of her hair with a mirror before she goes out? She has a “hole” right in the back of her hair.” Or, “Hmmmm….wonder what I’m gonna eat for lunch”. Or, “I wonder if that girl realizes that most of her tits are hanging out in that low cut shirt. Hmmm….wondering if the boy’s in the youth group noticed? Yeah, I’ll bet they did. That’s why they’re back there giggling like 5th grade girls.” Or, “I wonder if God is going to punish me for not paying attention. Hope not. At least I got up and came. I sure wanted to snooze a little longer. Maybe, He will give me points for that.” Man saying, “It’s not enough to know….blahblahblah.” Me thinking, “I need some new dress shoes. And, maybe some better clothes to wear to church. I need to quit wearing pants and dress up a little.” “Oh no, that man’s fly is slightly unzipped. Hope someone tells him. Nah, I hope they don’t.”"Wouldn’t it be funny if I grabbed some cash from the donation plate and then said, “APRIL FOOLS!” “Hey, mabye God is playing an April Fool’s joke on me….or is he testing me?” Man says, “Blahblahblahblahblahblah”.

I just could not pay attention. Couldn’t wait to get out of there.Anyway, you get the jest.